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d already understood： that it is the recent departure of the mother to an asylum for the sick of mind that precipitated my engagement。 she gave me such a contorted account of the events that precipitated the mother’s mittal that i could not make out whether the woman had or had not attacked the doctor’s wife with a violin。 it hardly matters； clearly there is a family history of disturbance in the brain； and i confess； my heart beat a little faster when i had it confirmed。 what satisfaction is there； for a governess； in being given the direction of minds that already run in smooth and untrammeled lines？ what challenge in maintaining ordered thinking in children whose minds are already neat and tidy？ i am not only ready for this job； i have spent years longing for it。 here； i shall finally find out what my methods are worth！
i inquired after the father’s family—…for though mr。 march is deceased and the children never knew him； still； his blood is theirs and has an impact on their natures。 mrs。 dunne was able to tell me very little； though。 instead； she began a series of anecdotes about the mother and the uncle； which； if i am to read between the lines （as i’m sure she meant me to）； contained hints of something scandalous… of course； what she suggests is not at all likely； not in england at least； and i suspect her of being somewhat fanciful。 the imagination is a healthy thing； and a great many scientific discoveries could not have been made without it； but it needs to be harnessed to some serious object if it is to e to anything。 left to wander its own way； it tends to lead into silliness。 perhaps it is age that makes her mind wander； for she seems a kind thing in other ways； and not the sort to invent gossip for the sake of it。 in any case； i immediately put the topic firmly from my mind。
as i write this i hear noises outside my room。 the girls have e out of their hiding place and are creeping about the house。 they have been done no favors； allowed to suit themselves like this。 they will benefit enormously from the regime of order； hygiene and discipline that i mean to instill in the house。 i shall not go out to them。 no doubt they will expect me to； and it will suit my purposes to disconcert them at this stage。
mrs。 dunne showed me the rooms on the ground floor。 there is filth everywhere； all the surfaces thick with dust； and curtains hanging in tatters； though she does not see it and thinks of them as they were years ago in the time of the twins’ grandfather； when there was a full staff there is a piano that may be beyond saving； but i will see what can be done； and a library that may be full of knowledge once the dust is wiped and one can see what is there。
the other floors i explored alone； not wanting to inflict too many stairs at once on mrs。 dunne。 on the first floor i became aware of a scuffling； a whispering and smothered giggling。 i had found my charges。 they had locked the door and fell silent when i tried the handle。 i called their names once； then left them to their own devices and went on to the second floor。 it is a cardinal rule that i do not chase my charges； but train them to e to me。 the second…floor rooms were in the most terrible disorder。 dirty； but i had e to expect that。 rainwater had e through the roof （i expected as much） and there were fungi growing in some of the rotting floorboards。 this is a truly unhealthy environment in which to raise children。 a number of floorboards were missing； looked as if they had been deliberately removed。 i shall have to see mr。 angelfield about getting these repaired。 i shall point out to him that someone could fall downstairs or at the very least twist an ankle。 all the hinges need oiling； and all the doorframes are warped。 wherever i went i was followed by a squeaking of doors swinging on their hinges； a creaking of floorboards； and drafts that set curtains fluttering； though it is impossible to tell exactly where they e from。
i returned to the kitchen as soon as i could。 mrs。 dunne was preparing our evening meal； and i had no inclination to eat food cooked in pots as unpleasant as the ones i had seen； so i got stuck into a great pile of washing up （after giving the sink the most thorough scrubbing it had seen for a decade） and kept a close eye on her with the preparation。 she does her best。
the girls would not e down to eat。 i called once and no more。 mrs。 dunne was all for calling and persuading； but i told her that i have my methods； and she must be on my side。
the doctor came to dine。 as i had been led to expect； the head of the household did not appear。 i had thought the doctor would be offended at this； but he seemed to find it entirely normal。 so it was just the two of us； and mrs。 dunne doing her best to wait at table； but needing much help from me。 the doctor is an intelligent； cultivated man。 he has a sincere desire to see the twins improve and has been the prime mover in bringing me to angelfield。 he explained to me at great length the difficulties i am likely to face here； and i listened with as much politeness as i could muster。 any governess； after the few hours i have had in this house； would have a full and clear picture of the task awaiting her； but he is a man； hence cannot see how tiresome it is to have explained at length what one has already fully understood。 my fidgeting and the slight sharpness of one or two of my answers entirely escaped his notice； and i fear that his energy and his analytical skills are not matched by his powers of observation。 i do not criticise him unduly for expecting everyone he meets to be less able than himself。 for he is a clever man； and more than that； he is a big fish in a small pond。 he has adopted an air of quiet modesty； but i see through that easily enough； for i have disguised myself in exactly the same manner。 however； i shall need his support in the project i have taken on； and shall work at making him my ally despite his shortings。
i hear sounds of an upset from downstairs。 presumably the girls have discovered the lock on the pantry door。 they will be angry and frustrated； but how else can i train them to proper mealtimes？ and without mealtimes； how can order be restored？
tomorrow i will start by cleaning this bedroom。 i have wiped the surfaces with a damp cloth this evening； and was tempted to clean the floor； but told myself no。 it will only need doing again tomorrow when i scrub the walls and take down the curtains that are so thick with dirt。 so tonight i sleep in dirt； but tomorrow i shall sleep in a bright clean room。 it will be a good beginning。 for i plan to restore order and discipline to this house； and to succeed in my aim must first of all make myself a clean room to think in。 no one can think clearly and make progress if she is not surrounded by hygiene and order。
the twins are crying in the hall。 it is time for me to meet my charges。
i have been so busy organizing the house that i have had little time for my diary lately； but i must make the time； for it is chiefly in writing that i record and develop my methods。
emmeline i have made good progress with； and my experience with her fits the pattern of behavior i have seen in other difficult children。 she is n