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‘i wish i knew；“ i told him。 ”i’m sorry。“
he pulled a disappointed face。
as the station loomed into sight； i asked a question of my own。 “do you happen to know aurelius love？”
‘the caterer！ yes； i know him。 the man’s a culinary genius！“
‘how long have you known him？“
he answered without thinking—“actually； i was at school with him”—
and in the middle of the sentence a curious quiver entered his voice； as though he had just realized the implications of my inquiry。 my next question did not surprise him。
‘when did you learn that miss march was miss winter？ was it when you took over your father’s business？“
he swallowed。 “no。” blinked。 “it was before。 i was still at school； he came to the house one day。 to see my father。 it was more private than the office。 they had some business to sort out and； without going into confidential details； it became clear during the course of their conversation that miss march and miss winter were the same person。 i was not eavesdropping； you understand。 that is to say； not deliberately。 i was already under the dining room table when they came in—there was a tablecloth that draped and made it into a sort of tent； you see—and i didn’t want to embarrass my father by emerging suddenly； so i just stayed quiet。”
what was it miss winter had told me？ there can be no secrets in a house where there are children。
we had e to a stop in front of the station； and the young mr。 lomax turned his stricken eyes toward me。 “i told aurelius。 the day he told me he had been found on the night of the fire。 i told him that miss adeline angelfield and miss vida winter were one and the same person。 i’m sorry。”
‘don’t worry about it。 it doesn’t matter now； anyway。 i only wondered。“
‘does she know i told aurelius who she was？“
i thought about the letter miss winter had sent me right at the beginning； and about aurelius in his brown suit； seeking the story of his origins。 “if she guessed； it was decades ago。 if she knows； i think you can presume she doesn’t care。”
the shadow cleared from his brow。
‘thanks for the lift。“
and i ran for the train。
。。
HESTER’S DIARY II
大＿
from the station i made a phone call to the bookshop。 my father could not hide his disappointment when i told him i would not be ing home。 “your mother will be sorry；” he said。
‘will she？“
‘of course she will。“
‘i have to go back。 i think i might have found hester。“
‘where？“
‘they have found bones at angelfield。“
‘bones？“
‘one of the builders discovered them when he was excavating the library today。“
‘gracious。“
‘they are bound to get in touch with miss winter to ask her about it。 and her sister is dying。 i can’t leave her on her own up there。 she needs me。“
‘i see。“ his voice was serious。
‘don’t tell mother；“ i warned him； ”but miss winter and her sister ire twins。“
he was silent。 then he just said； “you will take care； won’t you； margaret？”
a quarter of an hour later i had settled into my seat next to the window and was taking hester’s diary out of my pocket。
i should like to understand a great deal more about optics。 sitting with mrs。 dunne in the drawing room going over meal plans for the week； i caught sight of a sudden movement in the mirror。 “emmeline！” i exclaimed； irritated； for she was not supposed to be in the house at all； but outside； getting her daily exercise and fresh air。 it was my own mistake； of course； for i had only to look out of the window to see that she was outside； and her sister； too； playing nicely for once。 what i had seen； caught a misleading glimpse of； to be precise； must have been a flash of sunlight e in the window and reflected in the mirror。 on reflection （on reflection！ an unintended drollery！）； it is the psychology of seeing that caused my misapprehension； as much as any strangeness in the workings of the optical world。 for being used to seeing the twins wandering about the house in places i would not expect them to be； and at times when i would expect them to be elsewhere； i have fallen into the habit of interpreting every movement out of the corner of my eye as evidence of their presence。 hence a flash of sunlight reflected in a mirror presents itself in a very convincing manner to the mind as a girl in a white dress。 to guard against errors such as this； one would have to teach oneself to view everything without preconception； to abandon all habitual modes of thought。 there is much to be said in favor of such an attitude in principle。 the freshness of mind！ the virginal response to the world！ so much science has at its root the ability to see afresh what has been seen and thought to be understood for centuries。 however； in ordinary life； one cannot live by such principles。 imagine the time it would take if every aspect of experience had to be scrutinized afresh every minute of every day。 no； in order to free ourselves from the mundane it is essential that we delegate much of our interpretation of the world to that lower area of the mind that deals with the presumed； the assumed； the probable。 even though it sometimes leads us astray and causes us to misinterpret a flash of sunlight as a girl in a white dress； when these two things are as unlike as two things can be。
mrs。 dunnes mind does wander sometimes。 i fear she took in very little of our conversation about meal plans； and we shall have to go over the whole thing again tomorrow。
i have a little plan regarding my activities here and the doctor。
i have told him at great length of my belief that adeline demonstrates a type of mental disturbance that i have neither encountered nor read about before。 i mentioned the papers i have been reading about twins and the associated developmental problems； and i saw his face approve my reading。 i think he has a clearer understanding now of my abilities and talent。 one book i spoke of； he did not know and i was able to give him a summary of the arguments and evidence in the book。 i went on to point out the few significant inconsistencies that i had noticed in it； and to suggest how； if it were my book； i would have altered my conclusions and remendations。
the doctor smiled at me at the end of my speech and said lightly； “perhaps you should write your own book。” this gave me exactly the opportunity have been seeking for some time。
i pointed out to him that the perfect case study for such a book was at and here in angelfield house。 that i could devote a few hours every day to working on writing up my observations。 i sketched out a number of trials and experiments that could be undertaken to test my hypothesis。 and i touched briefly on the value that the finished book would have in the eyes of the medical establishment。 after this i lamented the fact that for all my experience； my formal qualifications are not grand enough to tempt a publisher； and finally i confessed that； as a woman； i was not entirely confident of being able bring off such an ambitious project。 a man； if only there were a man； intelligent and resourceful； sensitive and scientific； having access to my experience and my case study； would be sure to make a better job of it。