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dent of all efforts; and all wills; but your own? take one day; share it into sections; to each section apportion its task: leave no stray unemployed quarters of an hour; ten minutes; five minutes—include all; do each piece of business in its turn with method; with rigid regularity。 the day will close almost before you are aware it has begun; and you are indebted to no one for helping you to get rid of one vacant moment: you have had to seek no one’s pany; conversation; sympathy; forbearance; you have lived; in short; as an independent being ought to do。 take this advice: the first and last i shall offer you; then you will not want me or any one else; happen what may。 neglect it—go on as heretofore; craving; whining; and idling—and suffer the results of your idiocy; however bad and insuperable they may be。 i tell you this plainly; and listen: for though i shall no more repeat what i am now about to say; i shall steadily act on it。 after my mother’s death; i wash my hands of you: from the day her coffin is carried to the vault in gateshead church; you and i will be as separate as if we had never known each other。 you need not think that because we chanced to be born of the same parents; i shall suffer you to fasten me down by even the feeblest claim: i can tell you this—if the whole human race; ourselves excepted; were swept away; and we two stood alone on the earth; i would leave you in the old world; and betake myself to the new。”
she closed her lips。
“you might have spared yourself the trouble of delivering that tirade;” answered georgiana。 “everybody knows you are the most selfish; heartless creature in existence: and i know your spiteful hatred towards me: i have had a specimen of it before in the trick you played me about lord edwin vere: you could not bear me to be raised above you; to have a title; to be received into circles where you dare not show your face; and so you acted the spy and informer; and ruined my prospects for ever。” georgiana took out her handkerchief and blew her nose for an hour afterwards; eliza sat cold; impassable; and assiduously industrious。
true; generous feeling is made small account of by some; but here were two natures rendered; the one intolerably acrid; the other despicably savourless for the want of it。 feeling without judgment is a washy draught indeed; but judgment untempered by feeling is too bitter and husky a morsel for human deglutition。
it was a wet and windy afternoon: georgiana had fallen asleep on the sofa over the perusal of a novel; eliza was gone to attend a saint’s…day service at the new church—for in matters of religion she was a rigid formalist: no weather ever prevented the punctual discharge of what she considered her devotional duties; fair or foul; she went to church thrice every sunday; and as often on week… days as there were prayers。
i bethought myself to go upstairs and see how the dying woman sped; who lay there almost unheeded: the very servants paid her but a remittent attention: the hired nurse; being little looked after; would slip out of the room whenever she could。 bessie was faithful; but she had her own family to mind; and could only e occasionally to the hall。 i found the sick…room unwatched; as i had expected: no nurse was there; the patient lay still; and seemingly lethargic; her livid face sunk in the pillows: the fire was dying in the grate。 i renewed the fuel; re…arranged the bedclothes; gazed awhile on her who could not now gaze on me; and then i moved away to the window。
the rain beat strongly against the panes; the wind blew tempestuously: “one lies there;” i thought; “who will soon be beyond the war of earthly elements。 whither will that spirit—now struggling to quit its material tenement—flit when at length released?”
in pondering the great mystery; i thought of helen burns; recalled her dying words—her faith—her doctrine of the equality of disembodied souls。 i was still listening in thought to her well… remembered tones—still picturing her pale and spiritual aspect; her wasted face and sublime gaze; as she lay on her placid deathbed; and whispered her longing to be restored to her divine father’s bosom— when a feeble voice murmured from the couch behind: “who is that?”
i knew mrs。 reed had not spoken for days: was she reviving? i went up to her。
“it is i; aunt reed。”
“who—i?” was her answer。 “who are you?” looking at me with surprise and a sort of alarm; but still not wildly。 “you are quite a stranger to me—where is bessie?”
“she is at the lodge; aunt。”
“aunt;” she repeated。 “who calls me aunt? you are not one of the gibsons; and yet i know you—that face; and the eyes and forehead; are quiet familiar to me: you are like—why; you are like jane eyre!”
i said nothing: i was afraid of occasioning some shock by declaring my identity。
“yet;” said she; “i am afraid it is a mistake: my thoughts deceive me。 i wished to see jane eyre; and i fancy a likeness where none exists: besides; in eight years she must be so changed。” i now gently assured her that i was the person she supposed and desired me to be: and seeing that i was understood; and that her senses were quite collected; i explained how bessie had sent her husband to fetch me from thornfield。
“i am very ill; i know;” she said ere long。 “i was trying to turn myself a few minutes since; and find i cannot move a limb。 it is as well i should ease my mind before i die: what we think little of in health; burdens us at such an hour as the present is to me。 is the nurse here? or is there no one in the room but you?”
i assured her we were alone。
“well; i have twice done you a wrong which i regret now。 one was in breaking the promise which i gave my husband to bring you up as my own child; the other—” she stopped。 “after all; it is of no great importance; perhaps;” she murmured to herself: “and then i may get better; and to humble myself so to her is painful。”
she made an effort to alter her position; but failed: her face changed; she seemed to experience some inward sensation—the precursor; perhaps; of the last pang。
“well; i must get it over。 eternity is before me: i had better tell her。—go to my dressing…case; open it; and take out a letter you will see there。”
i obeyed her directions。 “read the letter;” she said。
it was short; and thus conceived:—
“madam;—will you have the goodness to send me the address of my niece; jane eyre; and to tell me how she is? it is my intention to write shortly and desire her to e to me at madeira。 providence has blessed my endeavours to secure a petency; and as i am unmarried and childless; i wish to adopt her during my life; and bequeath her at my death whatever i may have to leave。—i am; madam; etc。; etc。;
“john eyre; madeira。”
it was dated three years back。
“why did i never hear of this?” i asked。
“because i disliked you too fixedly and thoroughly ever to lend a hand in lifting you to prosperity。 i could not forget your conduct to me; jane—the fury with which you once turned on me; the tone in which you declared you abhorred me the worst of anybody in the world; the unchildlike look and voice with which you affirmed that the