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still i did not answer; and still i writhed myself from his grasp: for i was still incredulous。
“do you doubt me; jane?”
“entirely。”
“you have no faith in me?”
“not a whit。”
“am i a liar in your eyes?” he asked passionately。 “little sceptic; you shall be convinced。 what love have i for miss ingram? none: and that you know。 what love has she for me? none: as i have taken pains to prove: i caused a rumour to reach her that my fortune was not a third of what was supposed; and after that i presented myself to see the result; it was coldness both from her and her mother。 i would not—i could not—marry miss ingram。 you— you strange; you almost unearthly thing!—i love as my own flesh。 you—poor and obscure; and small and plain as you are—i entreat to accept me as a husband。”
“what; me!” i ejaculated; beginning in his earnestness—and especially in his incivility—to credit his sincerity: “me who have not a friend in the world but you… if you are my friend: not a shilling but what you have given me?”
“you; jane; i must have you for my own—entirely my own。 will you be mine? say yes; quickly。”
“mr。 rochester; let me look at your face: turn to the moonlight。”
“why?”
“because i want to read your countenance—turn!”
“there! you will find it scarcely more legible than a crumpled; scratched page。 read on: only make haste; for i suffer。”
his face was very much agitated and very much flushed; and there were strong workings in the features; and strange gleams in the eyes
“oh; jane; you torture me!” he exclaimed。 “with that searching and yet faithful and generous look; you torture me!”
“how can i do that? if you are true; and your offer real; my only feelings to you must be gratitude and devotion—they cannot torture。”
“gratitude!” he ejaculated; and added wildly—“jane accept me quickly。 say; edward—give me my name—edward—i will marry you。”
“are you in earnest? do you truly love me? do you sincerely wish me to be your wife?”
“i do; and if an oath is necessary to satisfy you; i swear it。”
“then; sir; i will marry you。”
“edward—my little wife!”
“dear edward!”
“e to me—e to me entirely now;” said he; and added; in his deepest tone; speaking in my ear as his cheek was laid on mine; “make my happiness—i will make yours。”
“god pardon me!” he subjoined ere long; “and man meddle not with me: i have her; and will hold her。”
“there is no one to meddle; sir。 i have no kindred to interfere。”
“no—that is the best of it;” he said。 and if i had loved him less i should have thought his accent and look of exultation savage; but; sitting by him; roused from the nightmare of parting—called to the paradise of union—i thought only of the bliss given me to drink in so abundant a flow。 again and again he said; “are you happy; jane?” and again and again i answered; “yes。” after which he murmured; “it will atone—it will atone。 have i not found her friendless; and cold; and fortless? will i not guard; and cherish; and solace her? is there not love in my heart; and constancy in my resolves? it will expiate at god’s tribunal。 i know my maker sanctions what i do。 for the world’s judgment—i wash my hands thereof。 for man’s opinion—i defy it。”
but what had befallen the night? the moon was not yet set; and we were all in shadow: i could scarcely see my master’s face; near as i was。 and what ailed the chestnut tree? it writhed and groaned; while wind roared in the laurel walk; and came sweeping over us。
“we must go in;” said mr。 rochester: “the weather changes。 i could have sat with thee till morning; jane。”
“and so;” thought i; “could i with you。” i should have said so; perhaps; but a livid; vivid spark leapt out of a cloud at which i was looking; and there was a crack; a crash; and a close rattling peal; and i thought only of hiding my dazzled eyes against mr。 rochester’s shoulder。
the rain rushed down。 he hurried me up the walk; through the grounds; and into the house; but we were quite wet before we could pass the threshold。 he was taking off my shawl in the hall; and shaking the water out of my loosened hair; when mrs。 fairfax emerged from her room。 i did not observe her at first; nor did mr。 rochester。 the lamp was lit。 the clock was on the stroke of twelve。
“hasten to take off your wet things;” said he; “and before you go; good…night—good…night; my darling!”
he kissed me repeatedly。 when i looked up; on leaving his arms; there stood the widow; pale; grave; and amazed。 i only smiled at her; and ran upstairs。 “explanation will do for another time;” thought i。 still; when i reached my chamber; i felt a pang at the idea she should even temporarily misconstrue what she had seen。 but joy soon effaced every other feeling; and loud as the wind blew; near and deep as the thunder crashed; fierce and frequent as the lightning gleamed; cataract…like as the rain fell during a storm of two hours’ duration; i experienced no fear and little awe。 mr。 rochester came thrice to my door in the course of it; to ask if i was safe and tranquil: and that was fort; that was strength for anything。
before i left my bed in the morning; little adèle came running in to tell me that the great horse…chestnut at the bottom of the orchard had been struck by lightning in the night; and half of it split away。
。。
Chapter 25
。小[说网}
the month of courtship had wasted: its very last hours were being numbered。 there was no putting off the day that advanced—the bridal day; and all preparations for its arrival were plete。 i; at least; had nothing more to do: there were my trunks; packed; locked; corded; ranged in a row along the wall of my little chamber; to…morrow; at this time; they would be far on their road to london: and so should i (d。v。);—or rather; not i; but one jane rochester; a person whom as yet i knew not。 the cards of address alone remained to nail on: they lay; four little squares; in the drawer。 mr。 rochester had himself written the direction; “mrs。 rochester;— hotel; london;” on each: i could not persuade myself to affix them; or to have them affixed。 mrs。 rochester! she did not exist: she would not be born till to…morrow; some time after eight o’clock a。m。; and i would wait to be assured she had e into the world alive before i assigned to her all that property。 it was enough that in yonder closet; opposite my dressing…table; garments said to be hers had already displaced my black stuff lowood frock and straw bonnet: for not to me appertained that suit of wedding raiment; the pearl…coloured robe; the vapoury veil pendent from the usurped portmanteau。 i shut the closet to conceal the strange; wraith…like apparel it contained; which; at this evening hour—nine o’clock— gave out certainly a most ghostly shimmer through the shadow of my apartment。 “i will leave you by yourself; white dream;” i said。 “i am feverish: i hear the wind blowing: i will go out of doors and feel it。”
it was not only the hurry of preparation that made me feverish; not only the anticipation of the great change—the new life which was to mence to…morrow: both these circumstances had their share; doubtle