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suppose you was someplace that you didnt know where it was。 the real thing you wouldnt know was where someplace else was。 or how far it was。 it wouldnt change nothin about where you was at。
she thought about that。 i try not to think about stuff like that； she said。
you think when you get to california youll kind of start over。
thems my intentions。
i think maybe thats the point。 theres a road goin to california and theres one in back。 but the best way would be just to show up there。
show up there。
yeah。
you mean and not know how you got there？
yeah。 and not know how you got there。
i dont know how youd do that。
i dont either。 thats the point。
she ate。 she looked around。 can i get some coffee？ she said。
you can get anything you want。 you got money。
she looked at him。 i guess i aint sure what the point is； she said。
the point is there aint no point。
no。 i mean what you said。 about knowin where you are。
he looked at her。 after a while he said： its not about knowin where you are。 its about thinkin you got there without takin anything with you。 your notions about startin over。
or anybodys。 you dont start over。 thats what its about。 ever step you take is forever。
you cant make it go away。 none of it。 you understand what im sayin？
i think so。
i know you dont but let me try it one more time。 you think when you wake up in the mornin yesterday dont count。 but yesterday is all that does count。 what else is there？
your life is made out of the days its made out of。 nothin else。 you might think you could run away and change your name and i dont know what all。 start over。 and then one mornin you wake up and look at the ceilin and guess whos layin there？
she nodded。
you understand what im sayin？
i understand that。 i been there。
yeah； i know you have。
so are you sorry you bee a outlaw？
sorry i didnt start sooner。 are you ready？
when he came out of the motel office he handed her a key。
whats that？
thats your key。
she hefted it in her hand and looked at him。 well； she said。 its up to you。
yes it is。
i guess youre afraid ill see whats in that bag。
not really。
he started the truck and pulled down the parking lot behind the motel office。
are you queer？ she said。
me？ yeah； im queer as a coot。
you dont look it。
is that right？ you know a lot of queers？
you dont act it i guess i should say。
well darlin what would you know about it？
i dont know。
say it again。
what？
say it again。 i dont know。
i dont know。
thats good。 you need to practice that。 it sounds good on you。
later he went out and drove down to the quickstop。 when he pulled back into the motel he sat there studying the cars in the lot。 then he got out。
he walked down to her room and tapped at the door。 he waited。 he tapped again。 he saw the curtain move and then she opened the door。 she stood there in the same jeans and t…shirt。 she looked like shed just woken up。
i know you aint old enough to drink but i thought id see if you wanted a beer。
yeah； she said。 id drink a beer。
he lifted one of the cold bottles out of the brown paper bag and handed it to her。 here you go； he said。
hed already turned to go。 she stepped out and let the door shut behind her。 you dont need to rush off thataway； she said。
he stopped on the lower step。
you got another one of these in that sack？
yeah。 i got two more。 and i aim to drink both of em。
i just meant maybe you could set here and drink one of em with me。
he squinted at her。 you ever notice how women have trouble takin no for a answer？ i think it starts about age three。
what about men？
they get used to it。 they better。
i wont say a word。 ill just set here。
you wont say a word。
no。
well thats already a lie。
well i wont say hardly nothin。 ill be real quiet。
he sat on the step and pulled one of the beers from the bag and twisted off the cap and tilted the bottle and drank。 she sat on the next step up and did the same。
you sleep a lot？ he said。
i sleep when i get the chance。 yeah。 you？
i aint had a nights sleep in about two weeks。 i dont know what it would feel like。 i think its beginnin to make me stupid。
you dont look stupid to me。
well； thats by your lights。
what does that mean？
nothin。 im just raggin you。 ill quit。
you aint got drugs in that satchel have you？
no。 why？ you use drugs？
id smoke some weed if you had some。
well i aint。
thats all right。
moss shook his head。 he drank。
i just meant its all right we could just set out here and drink a beer。
well im glad to hear thats all right。
where are you headin？ you aint never said。
hard to say。
you aint goin to california though； are you？
no。 i aint。
i didnt think so。
im goin to el paso。
i thought you didnt know where you was goin。
maybe i just decided。
i dont think so。
moss didnt answer。
this is nice settin out here； she said。
i guess it depends on where you been settin。
you aint just got out of the penitentiary or somethin have you？
i just got off of death row。 theyd done shaved my head for the electric chair。 you can see where its started to grow back。
youre full of it。
be funny if it turned out to be true though； wouldnt it？
is the law huntin you？
everbodys huntin me。
what did you do？
i been pickin up young girls hitchhikin and buryin em out in the desert。
that aint funny。
youre right。 it aint。 i was just pullin your leg。
you said youd quit。
i will。
do you ever tell the truth？
yeah。 i tell the truth。
youre married； aint you？
yeah。
whats your wifes name？
carla jean。
is she in el paso？
yeah。
does she know what you do for a livin？
yeah。 she knows。 im a welder。
she watched him。 to see what else he would say。 he didnt say anything。
you aint no welder； she said。
why aint i？
what have you got that machinegun for？
cause theys some bad people after me。
what did you do to em？
i took somethin that belongs to em and they want it back。
that dont sound like weldin to me。
it dont； does it？ i guess i hadnt thought of that。
he sipped the beer。 holding it by the neck between his thumb and forefinger。
and thats whats in that bag。 aint it？
hard to say。
are you a safecracker？
a safecracker？
yeah。
whatever give you that notion？
i dont know。 are you？
no。
well youre somethin。 aint you？
everbodys somethin。
you ever been to california？
yeah。 i been to california。 i got a brother lives there。
does he like it？
i dont know。 he lives there。
you wouldnt live there though； would you？
no。
you think thats where i ought to go？
he looked at her and looked away again。 he stretched his legs out on the concrete and crossed his boots and looked out across the parking lot toward the highway and the lights on the highway。 darlin； he said； how in the hell would i know where you ought to go？
yeah。 well； i appreciate you givin me that money。
youre wele。
you didnt have to do that。
i thought you wasnt goin to talk。
all right。 thats a lot of money though。
it aint half what you think it is。 youll see。
i wont