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was a hour or two before we arrived； an the bus didn'；t have no toilet； an i had drank two slurpees
fore we lef； so when we get to flomaton； i really got to go bad。
the thing was helt at the flomaton highschool auditorium； an when we git inside； me and
some of the others find the toilet。 somehow； tho； when i go to unzip my pants； the zipper is stuck
in my shirttail an won'；t e down。 after a bit of this； a nice little guy from a rival school goes
out and finds coach fellers an he e in with the two goons an they be tryin to get my pants
open。 one of the goons say the only way to git it down is jus rip it apart。 at this； coach fellers
put his hans on his hips an say； 〃i spose you expect me to send this boy out there with his fly
unzipped an his thing hangin out— now what kind of a impression do you think that would
make？〃 then he turn to me an say； 〃forrest； you jus got to keep a lid on it till this thing'；s over； an
then we get it open for you— okay？〃 an i nod； cause i don'；t know what else to do； but i figgerin i
be in for a long evenin。
when we get out to the auditorium there'；s a million people all settin there at tables； smilin an
clappin as we e out。 we is put up at a big long table on the stage in front of everbody an my
worst fears was realized about the long evenin。 seem like ever soul in the room got up to make a
speech— even the waiters an janitor。 i wished my mama coulda been there； cause she'；d of hepped
me； but she back at home in bed with the grippe。 finally it e time to get handed our prizes；
which was little gold…colored footballs； an when our names was called we was sposed to go up to
the microphone an take the prize an say 〃thank you；〃 an they also tole us if anybody has anythin
else he wants to say； to keep it short on account of we want to be gettin out of there before the
turn of the century。
most everbody had got they prize an said 〃thank you；〃 an then it e my turn。 somebody
on the microphone call out 〃forrest gump；〃 which； if i hadn'；t tole you before； is my last name； an
i stand up an go over an they han me the prize。 i lean over to the mike an say； 〃thank you；〃 an
everbody starts to cheer an clap an stand up in they seats。 i spose somebody tole them aforehan
i'；m some kind of idiot； an they makin a special effort to be nice。 but i'；m so surprised by all this； i
don'；t know what to do； so i jus kep standin there。 then everbody hush up； an the man at the mike
he lean over and axe me if i got anythin else i want to say。 so i says； 〃i got to pee。〃
everbody in the audience didn'；t say nothin for a few moments； an jus started lookin funny at
each other； an then they begun a sort of low mumblin； an coach fellers e up an grap me by
the arm and haul me back to my seat。 rest of the night he be glarin at me； but after the banquet is
over； coach an the goons done take me back to the bathroom an rip open my pants an i done peed
a bucket！
〃gump；〃 coach say after i am finished； 〃you sure got a way with words。〃
now nex year wadn'；t too eventful； cept somebody put out the word that a idiot got hissef on
the all state football team an a bunch of letters start in in from all round the country。 mama
collect them all and start keepin a scrapbook。 one day a package e from new yawk city that
contain a official baseball signed by the entire new yawk yankees baseball team。 it was the best
thing ever happen to me！ i treasure that ball like a goldbrick； till one day when i was tossin it
aroun in the yard； a big ole dog e up an grap it outta the air an chewed it up。 things like that
always happenin to me。
one day coach fellers call me in an take me into the principal'；s office。 they was a man
there from up to the university who shook my han an axe me whether i ever thought bout playin
football in college。 he say they been 〃watchin〃 me。 i shook my head； cause i hadn'；t。
everbody seemed to be in awe of this man； bowin an scrapin an callin him 〃mister bryant。〃
but he say for me to call him 〃bear；〃 which i thought was a funny name； cept he do look similar
to a bear in some respects。 coach fellers point out that i am not the brightest person； but the bear；
he say that is plenty true of most of his players； an that he figgers to get me special hep in my
studies。 a week later they give me a test with all sorts of screwy questions the like of which i am
not familiar with。 after a wile i get bored and stop takin the test。
two days afterward； the bear e back again and i get hauled into the principal'；s office by
coach fellers。 bear lookin distressed； but he still bein nice； he axe me have i done tried my best
on that test。 i nod my head； but the principal be rollin his eyes； an the bear say； 〃well； this is
unfortunate then； cause the score appears to indicate that this boy is a idiot。〃
the principal be noddin his head now； an coach fellers is standin there with his hands in his
pockets lookin sour。 it seem to be the end of my college football prospects。
the fact that i were too dumb to play college football did not seem to impress the united
states army none。 it were my last year at highschool an in the springtime everbody else
graduated。 they let me set up on the stage tho； an even give me a black robe to put on； an when it
e time； the principal announce they was gonna give me a 〃special〃 diploma。 i got up to go to
the microphone an the two goons stan up an go with me— i spose so'；s i don'；t make no remarks
like i did at the all state football thing。 my mama is down in the front row cryin and wringin her
hans an i really feel good； like i actually done acplish somethin。
but when we git back home； i finally realize why she bawlin an carryin on— they was a
letter e from the army say i got to report to the local daft board or somesuch。 i didn'；t know
what the deal was； but my mama did— it was 1968 an they was all sorts of shit fixin to hoppen。
mama give me a letter from the school principal to han to the daft…board people； but
somehow i lost it on the way there。 it was a loony scene。 they was a big colored guy in a army
suit yellin at people an dividin them up into bunches。 we was all standin there and he e up an
shout； 〃all right； i want half of you to go over there an half of you to go over here； an the other
half of you to stay put！〃 everbody millin aroun an lookin bewildered an even i could figger out
this guy'；s a moron。
they took me in a room and line us up an tell us to remove our clothes。 i ain'；t much for that；
but everbody else done it an so i did too。 they lookin at us everplace— eyes； noses； mouths；
ears— even our private parts。 at one point they tell me； 〃bend over；〃 an when i do； somebody jam
his finger up my ass。
that'；s it！
i turn an grapped that bastid an knock him upside the head。 they was suddenly a big
motion an a bunch of people run up an jump on top of me。 however； i am used to that
treatment。 i thowed them off an run out the door。 when i get home an